Five-Fold Today - Story of Roni Bowers - A Testimony of Humbling - Are You Really Spotless? - Let Me Heal Your Damaged Emotions
Story of Roni Bowers
Why does it seem God answers some prayers and not others? How many times
have you sat in church listening to all the praises and prayers being
answered and you have wondered, "When is it my turn?" You are not trying
to be angry, but you are, slightly, and you question God. "Where are
you?" "Do you hear me?" "What have I done?" "What sin is unconfessed?"
"Am I still being punished for some past sin?"
So what happens when God doesn't answer your prayers?
My prayer is that this story will help someone. If only one person would
be helped, then it was worth the time, effort, and yes, even the pain I
have known. There are many people who could write a very similar
account, but opening the heart can be so painful.
I was reared in a military family. My father was in the Air Force for
twenty years, so we moved a lot. I don't regret the lifestyle or the
constant changes that my two brothers and I had to endure. I never had
trouble making friends, though I never had a "bosom buddy" or a "kindred
spirit" until my later years. Family, I came to realize, was and is very
important. God's timing is always perfect. My parents were good, moral
people but they knew something was missing in their lives. The week we
moved into our home, following my dad's retirement, a pastor came to
welcome us to the community. He invited us to church and, surprisingly,
we all went the following Sunday. For the first time, we heard that Jesus
Christ gave His life as a living sacrifice so that people could be
forgiven, and could spend eternity with a righteous God. I vividly
remember the night, several weeks later, that my dad got on his knees and
asked Jesus Christ to be his Savior. I was twelve years old when I saw my
need for a Savior. Our home was always open, especially for single GI's.
My dad felt they needed a place to go for a good meal. My mom always did
a great job of that, especially on Sundays. Not only did we have
military personnel in our home, but also pastors, evangelists, and
missionaries. What a wonderful opportunity it was to sit at the table
with godly men and women and to be influenced by their lives. God sparked
an interest in my heart for missions very early. At the age of thirteen,
I knew I wanted to be a missionary. My parents allowed me to graduate
from high school a year early so I could attend a Bible college. Looking
back, it seems like I was very young to graduate at sixteen years of age
and start college at seventeen, but God was in it all.
While attending Piedmont Bible College in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, I
attended chapel programs and heard some wonderful speakers. Very early in
my freshman year, a missionary challenged us to make a commitment in our
dating lives. That day I made a vow to God that I would not date anyone
unless he, too, wanted to be a missionary. Finally, a young
man named Jim Bowers asked me to go roller skating. He was raised in
Brazil by godly missionary parents and was planning to be a missionary.
Over the course of time we became true friends. After about three years,
college money ran out for Jim, so he decided to join the Army in order to
take advantage of the GI bill. We took a break from college and on
November 23, 1985, I became Mrs. James A. Bowers.
In January of 1987, the Army moved us to Mainz, Germany. We grew
spiritually by leaps and bounds under the ministry of a missionary to the
military. What a wonderful experience it was. After about two years, we
began thinking about having a family. Months and months passed, which
became year after year. We didn't give it much consideration since we
both had to finish college and we thought it might be the Lord's will for
us to wait.
We reentered college in the Fall of 1990. As a married couple we both had
to work full time, as well as go to school. It was a very slow process
but we were determined to finish. Seeing a specialist regarding child
bearing was out of the question. Our last year of college was very
difficult. My father-in-law died of cancer. It was a difficult time for
all of us. I had never known what it meant to lose someone. I didn't know
what it meant to grieve or to know how to comfort some-one who was
grieving. Little did I know what was in store for me down the road.
In May of 1993 we graduated. Finally! What joy and relief we felt the
day we walked together to receive our diplomas. That same summer we
attended ABWE's Candidate Seminar and were appointed to Iquitos, Peru as
missionaries. After many years of waiting, our dreams were finally coming
true. Now we only lacked children in the home with whom to share those
dreams.
We moved to Muskegon, Michigan and Calvary Church became our sending
church. We were second generation missionaries at Calvary Church,
because this church was Jim's parents' sending church in 1963. Our
friends truly became our family. There were also several wonderful
doctors, one who specialized in infertility. After many tests, we were
finally told that we needed to think about adoption if we wanted
children. There was no way we could have our own. It took some time to
get used to the idea, to even come to the realization we would never have
our own. We started the adoption papers in April of 1994 and were told
it would be two to five years before we could adopt.
In the summer of that same year, Jim and I went to Peru to finalize all
our plans to move there and become river houseboat missionaries. We were
building our own boat and had plans to travel the Amazon River to reach
many for Christ and to train national leaders to do the work of ministry.
We were quite surprised that November (1994) when we received a phone call
stating that a baby boy had been born and the birth parents had chosen us
to be the parents. We needed a name to put on the birth certificate in
less than twenty-four hours. That's it! So with no warning and no
planning ahead, we had a son. In March of 1995 we were off to
the foreign field as a family. We spent nine months in Costa Rica
studying the Spanish language and living with a Costa Rican family. The
day we left for Peru was such a joyous day for us.
In March of 1997, with the help of three American construction crews, we
began the construction of our houseboat, using parts shipped from the
United States. By the end of October, we were finally on board. In
July of 1997, in the midst of construction, I began feeling so tired and
the work was getting to me. With the encouragement of a friend, I did
something I had wanted to do for years; I bought a home pregnancy test.
I took it the next morning and it came back positive. The emotion that
came over me was enormous. I ran into the bedroom to tell Jim. He
encouraged me to not get my hopes up until blood work was done. We went
to the hospital and the blood test was positive. We were elated. I flew
back, with my son, to the United States to see a doctor. No chances were
being taken.
After many tests, everything appeared to be normal and I returned to Peru
three weeks later with all kinds of maternity clothes. The following
Friday I was encouraged to lie down by one of the coworkers. No sooner
had I laid down than my water broke. I was only ten weeks into the
pregnancy. Praise the Lord, one of the people in the group helping us
with the construction was a lady and she knew what to do. After about
five hours of labor in the hospital, I lost our baby. Despair is the only
word to describe how I felt. I knew that I had to cling to God. He
reminded me of Psalm 23 and I trusted Him to "restore my soul."
I couldn't understand all the emotions, the deep depression I was feeling.
What kind of a Christian was I? After months of struggles, I realized I
was putting the baby I wanted before my relationship with God. I
finally realized what I was doing and begged God to forgive me. More
than anything, I wanted my relationship with Him back. God has not taken
away the desire for a baby, but He has helped me put my priorities in
order.
Now I choose to trust God fully. He is in control; He knows what is best.
He doesn't owe me anything, rather I owe Him everything. When we as
believers get to heaven, we won't have to ask, "why?" It will be worth
it all.
"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Where is
your heart? Where are your treasures?
Jim & Roni Bowers adopted Charity, their second child, in December 2000.
--------------------------
This is the Roni Bowers that was killed when her plane was shot down by
the Peruvians in S.A. last Friday.
It was written by her more than a year ago. ~The Story of Roni Bowers~
forwarded by Ruth Benson to the AP list
A Testimony of Humbling
Jim Rinker
To the Lords Army of Servants,
I have a personal testimony that I believe is a word the Lord wants to
release to His children.
The foundation of any ministry that we are called to will only be as
strong as the love that we have for the Lord Jesus Christ and for those we
are called to minister to. The evidence of how diligent we have been in
allowing the Holy Spirit to work in our lives to weed and prune us so that
we will bear the fruit of love is manifest in the heat of battle. Rick
Joyner in his book "The Call" terms this "quality of our camp". The
strength of any army in battle is directly proportional to the quality of
it's camp. How was the time in resting spent? Was it wasted or was it used
to it's fullness to further purge us that we would produce more fruit.
I have been learning that the only thing that will sustain us in the
heat of battle is His love, both His love for us as well as His love for
His people. Standing firm in the face of opposition and perseverance
through difficult circumstances for the sake of others is a clear sign
that His love is being manifest in our lives.
I had been involved in a local church for 3 years in the area I live
from 1997 to 2000. Last August I walked away from that local body
bitter, angry, disillusioned and discouraged. How did I fall so far? How
did these things gain foothold in my life?
Up until the time of my walking away, I had walked in increasing
knowledge and wisdom in the Lord's ways. God had been feeding me and
giving me prophetic insight into the "mysteries of the kingdom" and
instructing me in His ways. There was an increase in the prophetic
anointing on my life as well. The Lord was using me in many instances to
give words of encouragement and in general speak life into the lives of
many.
If I can sum up knowledge, wisdom, and the anointing (gifts of the
Spirit) it would be "the keys of the kingdom". Those keys were given to me
to first and foremost unlock the prison cell I was in. Once free from my
own delusions I was then given limited responsibility to begin to share
with others to give them these "keys" so they could free themselves.
Those who hold the keys of the kingdom WILL be opposed. The opposition
can be seen as a sign and used as a great sharpening stone or it can be
used as a stumbling block in our pathway. The choice of how we are going
to use that stone is ours. That stone reveals how well we camped. How much
of His love is actually a apart of our lives. It also reveals hidden
motives. It says in Romans that ALL things work out for good to those who
love Him. Opposition can be a pruning tool to bring forth more fruit if we
recognize and receive it as a pruning tool.
The keys of the kingdom are used to free us from our prison cells. They
are not what sustain us. His love sustains us. In the midst of
opposition I grew weaker and weaker. I became more and more distracted
by focusing on the spiritual forces working through others (totally
unknown to them) that were trying to stop me rather than on those I was
called to give the keys of the kingdom to. What became manifest (not
understood until months later) was my lack of love for Jesus AND HIS
PEOPLE.
His love NEVER fails. The reason I failed is because I was lacking in
His love. I ignored the warning signs the Lord posted on the pathway for
me to see if I would have not ignored them.
One of the warning signs is to focus on the forces of wickedness in high
places rather than on the Lord Himself. The enemy "suckered" me into
fighting a battle that neither you or I are called to fight. We are called
to sit with Christ "high above" all principalities and powers and not cast
them down. That time will come but it certainly is not yet that time. The
call is not to cast down but rather to overcome.
What this means is that those powers still exists, but they do not have
authority over our lives. A defensive end is called to sack the
quarterback, not fight with the offensive linemen trying to stop him. The
defensive end is looking to "go beyond" the lineman. If we get no further
than the lineman, he has done his job in protecting his quarterback. If
the enemy can get us to fight him instead of going to the prisoners who
are requesting assistance we will fail to free them.
The second warning sign was my reaction to what I saw. Jesus saw all
things as they were yet was able to stand knowing all things. What
sustained Him was His love for us. I was given vision because I asked
for it. Many others are given vision because they too have asked for it.
Standing under the weight of the "anointing" and not being consumed by it
is quite another matter.
The amount of love I had for God's people was manifest by the anointing.
I knew the spiritual truth that is in Ezekiel about an exceedingly great
army that would be risen up out of the driest of bones. I lacked the
patience and perseverance to stand in the midst of those dry bones,
however, to see them risen up. I became distracted by their dryness.
I became offended by the condition of the army. That offense can stop us
from ministering to the ones we are sent to heal and free. Our offense
manifests our expectations, which if are dillusions will hinder us.
The third warning sign was trying to make blind people see what you see.
Jesus said in Matthew 13 that "to you it is given to know the mysteries of
the kingdom but to those without it is not given". Blindness is directly
proportional to discipleship.
His disciples were granted vision because they chose to follow Jesus while
those who were not His disciples were not granted that vision. Vision
first needed to be imparted. Agreement comes as we all see as He sees.
There is no disagreement when we look as a ship and say "that's a ship".
We disagree because we do not see as He sees.
Now vision is a wonderful thing but if it is not used to free others
then it will be used to judge others. Seeing that a religious spirit
controls the vast majority of the churches today is one thing. Being
able to impart vision to others that they may see as well is quite
another. Knowledge is power. It is power to rule over or it is power to
free. It is also the power to let someone have their free will to
choose. To choose to seek Him on their own or choose to not seek Him and
remain as they are.
Vision is given to all who ask! Love will allow someone to choose. To
choose delusions or choose life without being offended. Offense =
distraction!
It says in the book of Acts that Jesus instructed the disciples not to
depart Jerusalem but wait for the POWER. That word power is not
"strength". It is dunamas. Now it means dynamo and most equate that with
strength but a dynamo is a self sustaining mechanism that once going
requires no outside power source for it to run. It is deemed "inherent
power".
Inherent power is the power of REPRODUCTION. It is the power to
reproduce the life of Christ in you in others. The disciples were
instructed to WAIT until they received the power of reproduction. But
locked in this word power is love for reproduction does not happen
unless an act or manifestation of love occurs. Meditate on this.
Now, I will sum all of this information up. The gifts of the Spirit are
given to free ourselves and others from our prison cells of delusion that
we may worship the Lord in Spirit and in truth. Possessing the anointing
is possessing the keys to the prison cells.
The keys are given to those who ask the Lord and seek Him. He then sends
His servants to impart the keys so the prisoner can free themselves. Those
who hold the keys to unlock the prison cells of those held captive will
come under direct attack by the prison guards.
To walk in the face of direct opposition of the enemy and persevere the
mocking of other prisoners that have not yet asked for freedom we need to
posses His love for the prisoners. Our ability to stand in the midst of
this great battle is directly proportional to the amount of unfailing love
we posses.
Now, to those who are being given spiritual authority to go and free the
captives, I exhort you in the name of Jesus to listen to my words. I stand
as a living example of how one who is given the keys to the kingdom can
fail in their mission and fall on the battlefield.
If any of these warning signs ring true in your life, take time to camp
and ask the Lord to impart His love to you for His people. Do not justify
yourself!
You will be able to BIBLICALLY justify yourself as I did. This is not a
matter of who is right and who is wrong. It is a matter of life
and death. It is a matter of learning responsibility. The walk IS
difficult. If the walk is not difficult for you then you're probably not
on the right path. But in the face of difficulties and opposition is
sustenance. That sustaining factor is His love.
May the Lord Bless You and Sustain You in the Midst of the Ever Increasing
Darkness!
Jim
---
rinker@3dp.com
Are You Really Spotless?
Thomas Lawrence
A word from the Lord to those who call themselves His church but continue
to live for themselves...
Tell My people I am coming and they MUST be clean - they MUST be clean -
they MUST be clean. For I am coming for a spotless bride. THEY MUST BE
CLEAN! If you can't give it all, you can't have any of Me. For the day
is coming, the great day of My wrath. None who are not of Me will escape
My wrath.
Do you carry unforgiveness in your heart? Then you are NOT spotless.
I am coming for a spotless bride. You must surrender all to Me. There
can be nothing left for I will not be a part of adultery. It's ALL of Me
or NONE of Me. You must choose. Do not delay - your days are numbered.
Make no mistake, I am a Sovereign God and I am a Just God. I must judge all
men equally. There can be no bargaining with Me. I love you, but I must be
Just.
Do you not know that you were bought with the price of My Son? I cannot
buy only part of you. I must have ALL of you or NONE of you. I love you,
but I MUST be Just.
Will you bear My mark or the mark of another? Only those who bear My mark
may enter into My reward - all others will be cast into outer darkness.
Will you choose this day? No choice is the WRONG choice. Come to Me this
day. I long for you. Come to Me. Come to Me. Come to Me. I long for you.
Don't delay. Choose this day.
tomllawrence@yahoo.com
Let Me Heal Your Damaged Emotions
Olivia Reitz
Come, come to Me and let Me heal your damaged emotions. When no one is available, not even the ones closest to your
heart, who will understand - there is the One who is "always" available to you.
When you feel everything that you do or say is wrong, when anxiety, inadequacy,
inferiority, says "I am no good, no one could possibly love me or understand me" -
Remember, I AM HERE. Talk with Me. I am always here to listen and to
understand what your heart is saying. For who loves you more than I do? And who
could possibly understand you more than I can?
The enemy seeks to catch you off guard, when you try to explain your feelings to
someone and you feel rejected by them. You are in a war ... you've taken on the big
attacks and you have been winning, but Satan is like a sniper, waiting in ambush -
picking you off when you least expect it. You can be feeling on top of the world,
strong in Me, but one little comment can send you into a tailspin. It happened to the
best of My saints of old, and it happens to My saints now!
Satan is clever and dangerous. My Beloved, it's not his power that will get through
to you, for he has no power, for the power comes through My Son. - It's his
trickery and his deceptiveness. He knows how to exploit your weaknesses bringing on
discouragement, failure, fear, doubt and guilt - seeking to paralyze you and
ultimately My potential for your life. He seeks to ruin your relationships, sabotaging
your service to Me.
So, come, My Beloved, come to Me, receive my listening ear and heart, receive My
understanding, receive My unconditional forgiveness. Receive !!!
Olivia Reitz
April 30, 2001
By Veronica (Roni) Bowers
ap@myhome.net
His Light Shines!Yea, and all that will live Godly in Christ Jesus
shall suffer persecution. But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and
worse, deceiving, and being deceived. But continue thou in the things
which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of Whom thou
hast learned them; And that from a child thou hast known the Holy
Scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith
which is in Christ Jesus." 2 Timothy 3:12-15
Do you carry jealousy in your heart? Then you are NOT spotless.
Do you carry pride in you heart? Then you are NOT spotless.
Do you carry greed in your heart? Then you are NOT spotless.
Do you carry envy in your heart? Then you are NOT spotless.Why are you cast down, O my inner self? And why should you moan over me and be disquieted
within me? Hope in God AND wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him, my Help and my
God. Ps 42:5
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